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you​’​re talking utter bollocks

from ape face by bushytunes

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about

This song is a small dose of therapeutic recompense for all the times I have politely listened to people talking utter bollocks - particularly in pubs - wishing I’d had the nerve, complete lack of manners, and disregard for their feelings, to say to them: ‘I regret to inform you that you are talking utter bollocks. Cease and desist’.

A basic maths test for you: A man’s brain plus too much alcohol plus poorly wired brain paths plus plentiful sources of misinformation plus need-to-show-off and be a know-it-all equals - what? If you answered, ‘someone talking utter bollocks’, well done! Treat yourself – moderately and sensibly, of course. Just like the booze producers say. I would hate to be the catalyst for a spate of unbridled hedonism leading to your fall from grace. And so would the booze producers, I’m sure...

Uncle Queen is one of the guilty ones found in the pub in this song. I’m not proud of that fact, but I wouldn’t hide it from you. He is a silly sausage.

By the way, FYI, DIY, B&Q: at the end of Bowie’s ‘John, I’m only dancing’ is some great stuttering fuzzy guitar, done with volume knobs and selector switches. At the end of this song, there isn’t.
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lyrics

Evening. Yes, it is getting parky
Not too bad. And yourself? Good
I’ll have a pint of my usual, the Best
What’s that? King Kong, he was a real ape?
Died before they could film him?
I’ve never heard that before, I must confess

Bollocks
You’re talking utter bollocks
That’s what you do
Whenever you come down the pub
Bollock
You’re talking utter bollocks
Is it the drink or
Is your brain in back to front or what?

Yoda is a real person?
He lives up north with Elvis Presley?
They run a funeral home for people’s pets?
Where do you get your information?
Friends in high places, thought so
And I bet you go on the internet...

Bollocks
You’re talking utter bollocks
That’s what you do
Whenever you come down the pub
Bollocks
You’re talking utter bollocks
Is it the drink or
Is your brain in back to front or what?

(pretty echoey git solo)

Are you saying the Earth is
Only six thousand years old?
Scientists would disagree but
Don’t take that too hard
And are you still telling people
You’re the real Queen of England
And you have to commute
Because you live on Mars?

Bollocks
You’re talking utter bollocks
That’s what you do
Whenever you come down the pub
Bollocks
You’re talking utter bollocks
Is it the drink or
Is your brain in back to front or what?

Bollocks
You’re talking utter bollocks
That’s what you do
Whenever you come down the pub
Bollocks
You’re talking utter bollocks
Is it the drink or
Is your brain in back to front or what?

(tuba chat bit)
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credits

from ape face, track released June 29, 2013

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bushytunes Christmas Island

Once upon a time there was a crazy idea: to create, record and upload a musical track every day for a year. And the idea floated round and round the planet, looking for a place to call home. After a long time of searching and wishing and watching, the idea chose to make a nest in the brain of a bushy fellow, coming to his aid and guiding him out of the doldrums, back to a magical pathway... ... more

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